Dinner Disasters - Dining Jokes
Martha Stewart Parody


Dining, Meal Time, and Restaurant Jokes

A traveler was stumbling through the desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked toward the image, only to find a little old peddler sitting at a card table with a bunch of ties laid out for sale. The parched wanderer asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?"

The man replied "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your clothes."

The desperate man shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot. I need water!"

"Okay, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about five miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, they'll give you all the water you want." The man thanked the peddler and walked away toward the hill and eventually disappeared out of sight.

Three hours later he returned. The man at the card table asked, "I told you, about five miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?"

"I found it all right," replied the man ... "They wouldn't let me in without a tie."

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

My family eats from the three basic food groups: canned, frozen and take-out.

"What's the usual tip?" a man growled when Justin, a college boy, delivered his pizza.

"Well," Justin replied, "this is my first delivery, but the other guys said that if I got a quarter out of you, I'd be doing great."

"Is that so?" grunted the man. "In that case, here's five dollars."

"Thanks," Justin said, "I'll put it in my college fund."

"By the way, what are you studying?" questioned the man.

To which Justin replied, "Reversed psychology..."






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Martha Stewart


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