Dining, Meal Time, and Restaurant Jokes

A politician is in a restaurant and the waiter brings over the rolls, but no butter. "May I have some butter, please?" The waiter gives a slight nod and wanders off.

Ten minutes later, still no butter. The politician catches the waiter's eye, "May I have some butter, please?" Still the vaguest of responses, and after ten more minutes, still no butter.

"Maybe you don't know who I am," says the politician. "I'm a Princeton graduate, a Rhodes scholar, an All-American basketball player who played with the New York Knicks in the pros, and I'm currently a United States Senator, chairman of the International Debt Subcommittee of the Senate Finance Committee, chairman of the Water and Power Subcommittee of the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee, and a member of the Senate Select Intelligence Committee."

"Maybe you don't know who I am," said the waiter. "I'm the guy who's in charge of the butter."

At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. He was served a piece of meat, and as he picked it up with his fork, he held it up and smirked, "Is this pig?"

Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly, "To which end of the fork are you referring?"

Diner to Waiter: There's a dead fly in my soup.
Waiter: Oh dear, it must have committed insecticide.

Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.

Diner: This coffee tastes like mud!
Waiter: Well it was ground only an hour ago?

Diner: This food is completely disgusting.
Waiter: Well sir, it does say eat dirt cheap outside.

Diner: I can't find any steak in this steak pie!
Waiter: Well you won't find any horse in the horseradish either!

Q: What is the definition of a Steakhouse?
A: A house of grill repute.

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