How to Survive the Holidays - Holiday Humor

Thanksgiving Jokes

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh right up just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good.

Then the woman then instructs him to put a Santa Clause with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.

As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says, "If you don' t mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"

The woman answered, "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."

"Well, dear what's it to be tonight?" said the amorous hubby.

"Hmmm ... I'm in the mood for something special tonight, how about turkey style?" replied his mate.

"Turkey style? I've heard of 'doggy style,' but what in the world is turkey style?"

To which the wife replied, "Gobble, gobble, gobble!"

Q: What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?

A: People would be eating pussy every Thanksgiving.

Halloween | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Thanksgiving | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
Christmas | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Hanukkah | 18 |
Other Occasions and Holidays | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |