Mom's Best Brownie Recipe
Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375. Melt 1 cup
margarine in saucepan. Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Little
Johnny "no, no." Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening
can away from Billy and clean cupboards.
Measure 1/3 cup cocoa. Take shortening can away from Billy again
and bathe cat. Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained
while removing shortening from cat's tail.
Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.
Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows
for ventilation. Take telephone away from Little Johnny and assure
party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt
to have direct dialed call removed from bill.
Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
Let cat out of refrigerator.
Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan. Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and take razor away from Johnny. Explain to kids that
you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside
while there's still time and he's still able to run away.
Mix the following in saucepan: 1 cup sugar 1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup margarine Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler
and throw it away - far away. Answer the door and meekly explain
to nice policeman that you didn't know Billy had slipped out of
the house and was heading for the street. Put Little Johnny in
Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly
for 2 minutes. Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Johnny
having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise
to pay for ruined carpet. Tie Little Johnny to clothesline.
Remove burned brownies from oven.