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  The Martha Stewart Collective...
planet Martha
Martha's Universe

 

Welcome to Martha Stewart's Universe
Episode 2001: Martha Stewart's Stellar Galactic Tribute to Star Trek

Boldy go where no one (other than Martha Stewart) has gone before. Enjoy!
Guinan Stewart



  Martha Stewart's first Starfleet designation aboard the Federation Starship U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701 was as the ship's computer in 2266. Martha Stewart's expertise on every conceivable subject in the universe was soon recognized. Naturally, she was promoted to "Chief of Replications" at warp speed.  

 

 

Martha demonstrates the Omnimedia Grip to Dr. Leonard McCoy. Suffering from xenopolycythemia, Bones jumped through a time portal attempting to save 20th-century Earth from Martha's grip. Martha Stewart's motto, "Living: Live Long and Prosper."
Martha Stewart/McCoy
Chekov & Martha
Ensign Pavel Chekov with the Beta XII-A entity in 2268. This mysterious alien life-form of unknown origin is capable of manipulating matter and the minds of its victims.  
 
Captain Kirk
 

"Aboard the Enterprise, I was notably unsuccessful in maintaining a long-term relationship with any one woman. But, it's a little-known fact that Martha Stewart and I were involved often during my five-year mission. I first met 'Dr.Marthus' aka Martha Stewart in the early 2260's. We had a son, David Marthus whom I did not see again until 2285 when 'Dr. Marthus' and I worked together on Project Genesis to 'transform uninhabitable planets into worlds suitable for humanoid life'."

- James T. Kirk

 


Martha Stewart - The Next Generation
Stardate: 21987.94

 
Captain Picard
 

Martha Stewart, as well as Star Trek: The Original Series,
become icons of 24th-century popular culture.

Martha Stewart, an enigmatic being composed purely of energy, joined the crew of the Enterprise-D in 2363 after sucessfully thawing a group of 20th-century humans who were frozen some four centuries earlier. This technique, now commonly known as "Living Electroplasm Spasm" earned Martha a meteoric promotion to Lt. Commander and Starfleet's highest decoration: The Stewie.

 
 

Star Trek Trivia:

Which is the "Living" Android?

A) Cardboard stiff on the Left
B) Emotionless being on the Right
C) Both of the above!

 

Martha & Data

 


Martha Stewart vs. The Borg
1st Borg Queen

Since the two life-style philosophies are basically the same,
in a true galactic TV ratings / sweeps confrontation,
could there possibly be a clear victory here?

 
After all, both Martha Stewart and the Borg are immensely powerful, technologically superior, enhanced humanoids originating from the Delta Quadrant. Both exhibit a high degree of intelligence and adaptability in their tactics. And, both the Borg and Martha Stewart are tied to sophisticated communications networks "Omnimedia" or "Collective" in which the idea of the individual is a meaningless concept.
 
Both Borg Queens
  Borg Trivia:

Borg Queen (pictured at right) is actually Martha Stewart's identical twin sister, a clone, and is also the producer of Martha Stewart's "Living" television show.
 
  Martha: Borg #1

 

Martha Stewart's Personal Motto:

"Blonde Borgs Have Same Fun!"

 

Martha Stewart's Corporate Omnimedia Motto:

"You Will Be Assimilated.
You Will Become One With the Collective.
Resistance is Futile."

 


Stardate: 981031.1
2369 - Martha Stewart Joins Deep Space 9

The greatest discovery of the millenium:
The "Martha Stewart Galactic Commemorative Ziti Wormhole"
linking the Alpha Quadrant to the distant Gamma Quandrant

  Starfleet assumed control
of Deep Space 9 (Terek Nor) from the Cardassians at the request of the Bajoran provisional government that believed Martha Stewart was the true, divine, and all-knowing Emissary of the Prophets. Martha Stewart simply loved the station because it included the "Habitat" Ring devoted to personnel quarters and other "Living" facilities.
  Martha & Worf: DS9   Finding it sometimes difficult to fit into the world of humans, both Martha Stewart and Worf acquired a taste for prune juice - Both Klingon and Stewart physiology seem to include a redundancy for nearly all vital bodily "Living" functions? (No Sh**!) Shortly after Worf's gastronomic-tronic replication, a private luncheon with Martha Stewart, Worf refused medical treatment, opting for the "Hegh'bat" form of ritual suicide.  
 
Bashir admires Martha's genes
 

Dr. Julian Bashir is pictured admiring another genetically enhanced humanoid, the apple (wasabi) of his eye, Martha Stewart.

 


Stardate: 491995.69
Martha Stewart joins the crew of Voyager

Martha Stewart's vast media empire expands deeper into the
Milky Way Galaxy to the unexplored deepest space of the distant
and mostly uncharted Delta Quadrant.

 

Neelix:

"I just love this woman.
She REALLY COOKS!"

 

Neelix hugs Martha

 
 
Tuvok & Martha Stewart
 

Stardate: 521998.99
(Y2K)

Fortunately, for the rest of us mere mortal Earthlings, our part of the galaxy remains safe from total domination by any of our dastardly foes - the Dominion, the Borg, or the Martha Stewart Collective (aka: Species 8472) in the 24th-century because green Vulcan blood remains inherently invulnerable to the hideous effects of both Green Jell-O and the evil Omnimedia!

 
 
Just one man's (not Hu'-Man) opinion
of Martha Stewart's Fusion-Style of International Cuisine!
 

Quark & Martha

 


Stardate 92620.01
(September 26, 2001)

The "real" space odd-yssey begins...

We'll have to wait and see what Martha Stewart
was up to on the original Enterprise.

One thing we do know, though, is that Martha Stewart thinks Scot Bacula is a hotty!

 

 

 

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Green Jell-O

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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And the Adventure Continues...
Check out some of the other Martha Stewart zaniness!

| The Odditorium | Martha Stewart Paparazzi Photos | The Stewies |
| Enter The Party | Do Lunch With Martha Stewart and Bill Clinton |
| Martha Stewart's Tribute to Star Trek | Martha in the Headlines |
| Back to the Top of This Page | MrsMegaByte's Home | Humor Links |

 

Party Martha!

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