|
Welcome to Martha Stewart's Universe
Episode 2001: Martha Stewart's Stellar Galactic Tribute to Star
Trek
Boldy go where no one (other than Martha
Stewart) has gone before. Enjoy!
| |
Martha Stewart's first Starfleet designation aboard
the Federation Starship U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701 was as the ship's
computer in 2266. Martha Stewart's expertise
on every conceivable subject in the universe was soon recognized.
Naturally, she was promoted to "Chief of Replications"
at warp speed. |
|
|
|
Martha demonstrates the Omnimedia
Grip to Dr. Leonard McCoy. Suffering from xenopolycythemia, Bones
jumped through a time portal attempting to save 20th-century Earth
from Martha's grip. Martha Stewart's motto, "Living: Live
Long and Prosper."
|
|
|
Ensign Pavel Chekov with the Beta XII-A
entity in 2268. This mysterious alien life-form of unknown origin
is capable of manipulating matter and the minds of its victims.
|
|
| |
|
|
"Aboard the Enterprise, I was notably unsuccessful
in maintaining a long-term relationship with any one woman. But,
it's a little-known fact that Martha Stewart and I were involved
often during my five-year mission. I first met 'Dr.Marthus' aka
Martha Stewart in the early 2260's. We had a son, David Marthus
whom I did not see again until 2285 when 'Dr. Marthus' and I worked
together on Project Genesis to 'transform uninhabitable planets
into worlds suitable for humanoid life'."
- James T. Kirk
|
|
Martha Stewart - The Next Generation
Stardate: 21987.94
| |
|
|
Martha Stewart, as well as Star Trek: The Original Series,
become icons
of 24th-century popular culture.
Martha Stewart, an enigmatic being composed purely
of energy, joined the crew of the Enterprise-D in 2363 after sucessfully
thawing a group of 20th-century humans who were frozen some four
centuries earlier. This technique, now commonly known as "Living
Electroplasm Spasm" earned Martha a meteoric promotion to
Lt. Commander and Starfleet's highest decoration: The Stewie.
|
|
| |
Star Trek Trivia:
Which is the "Living" Android?
A) Cardboard stiff on the Left
B) Emotionless being on the Right
C) Both of the above!
|
|
|
|
Martha Stewart vs. The Borg
Since the two life-style philosophies are basically the same,
in a true galactic TV ratings / sweeps confrontation,
could there possibly be a clear victory here?
| |
After all, both Martha Stewart
and the Borg are immensely powerful, technologically superior,
enhanced humanoids originating from the Delta Quadrant. Both exhibit
a high degree of intelligence and adaptability in their tactics.
And, both the Borg and Martha Stewart are tied to sophisticated
communications networks "Omnimedia" or "Collective"
in which the idea of the individual is a meaningless concept.
|
|
|
|
Borg Trivia:
Borg Queen (pictured at right) is actually Martha
Stewart's identical twin sister, a clone, and is also the producer
of Martha Stewart's "Living" television show. |
|
| |
 |
|
Martha Stewart's Personal Motto:
"Blonde Borgs Have Same Fun!"
Martha Stewart's Corporate Omnimedia Motto:
"You Will Be Assimilated.
You Will Become One With the Collective.
Resistance is Futile."
|
|
Stardate: 981031.1
2369 - Martha Stewart Joins Deep Space 9
The greatest discovery of the millenium:
The "Martha Stewart Galactic Commemorative Ziti Wormhole"
linking the Alpha Quadrant to the distant Gamma Quandrant
| |
Starfleet assumed control
of Deep Space 9 (Terek Nor) from the Cardassians at the request
of the Bajoran provisional government that believed Martha Stewart
was the true, divine, and all-knowing Emissary of the Prophets.
Martha Stewart simply loved the station because it included the
"Habitat" Ring devoted to personnel quarters and other
"Living" facilities. |
|
 |
|
Finding it sometimes difficult to fit
into the world of humans, both Martha Stewart and Worf acquired
a taste for prune juice - Both Klingon and Stewart physiology seem
to include a redundancy for nearly all vital bodily "Living"
functions? (No Sh**!) Shortly after Worf's
gastronomic-tronic replication, a private
luncheon with Martha Stewart, Worf refused
medical treatment, opting for the "Hegh'bat" form of ritual
suicide. |
|
| |
|
|
Dr. Julian Bashir is pictured admiring another
genetically enhanced humanoid, the apple (wasabi) of his eye,
Martha Stewart.
|
|
Stardate: 491995.69
Martha Stewart joins the crew of Voyager
Martha Stewart's vast media empire expands deeper into
the
Milky Way Galaxy to the unexplored deepest space of the distant
and mostly uncharted Delta Quadrant.
| |
Neelix:
"I just love this woman.
She REALLY COOKS!"
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
Stardate: 521998.99
(Y2K)
Fortunately, for the rest of us mere mortal Earthlings, our part
of the galaxy remains safe from total domination by any of our
dastardly foes - the Dominion, the Borg,
or the Martha Stewart Collective (aka: Species 8472) in the 24th-century
because green Vulcan blood remains inherently invulnerable
to the hideous effects of both Green Jell-O and the evil Omnimedia!
|
|
| |
Just one man's (not Hu'-Man) opinion
of Martha Stewart's Fusion-Style
of International Cuisine!
|
|
|
|
Stardate 92620.01
(September 26, 2001)
The "real" space odd-yssey begins...
We'll have to wait and see what Martha Stewart
was up to on the original Enterprise.
One thing we do know, though, is that
Martha Stewart thinks Scot Bacula is a hotty!
|
|
Looking
for
Collectible
Star Trek Clocks?
ENTER
Star Trek
The Original Series:
TOS Crew Clock
USS Enterprise NCC-1701
Mr. Spock Clock
Star Trek
The Next Generation:
USS Enterprise-D Clock
TNG Crew Clock
Shop
for Star Trek Clocks
|
|
