Dinner Disasters - Dining Jokes
Martha Stewart Parody


Dining, Meal Time, and Restaurant Jokes

A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too cold, then he asked that it be turned down because he was too hot, and so it went for about a half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient. He walked back and forth and never once got angry.

Finally, a second customer asked the waiter why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh, I don't care," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

Although he always ordered just ham and eggs everyday, one customer at the diner always studied the menu carefully each day before ordering. One day his regular waitress decided to see if he could be made to order anything else. Before giving him the menu she marked out the ham and eggs entry.

After waiting a few minutes she asked, "Did you notice, sir, that I scratched something that you like?"

Without looking up from the menu, he replied, "So go wash your hands and bring me some ham and eggs..."

A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read: "Unique Breakfast." So, he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought the man his coffee and asked him what he wanted. "What's your 'Unique Breakfast?'" he asked inquisitively.

"Baked tongue of chicken!" she proudly replied.

"Baked tongue of chicken?... Baked tongue of chicken! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" he fumed.

Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like then?" "Just bring me some scrambled eggs," the man replied.

A waitress walks up to a table with three Japanese men. When she gets to the table, the waitress notices that the three men are furiously masturbating. She asks, "What the hell are you three perverts doing?"

One man replies, "We all very hungry!"

She answers, "But why are you jerking off?"

"Because menu say 'First Come, First Served!'"






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Martha Stewart


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