Home, Garden, and Gardening Jokes

Gardening FAQs

Q: What do you call a grumpy and short-tempered gardener?
A: A Snap Dragon.

Q: What do you call a country where the people drive only pink cars?
A: A pink carnation.

Q: What kind of flowers grow in outer space?
A: Ipomoea alba, Helianthus annuus, Pentas lanceolata, and Cosmos
(Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, Cosmos)

Q: What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
A: A rash of good luck.

Q: Why don't you ever iron a four-leaf clover?
A: You might press your luck.

Q: What do you call a mushroom who buys everyone drinks and is the life of the party?
A: A fun-gi.

Q: What insect is musical?
A: A humbug.

Q: What do you call it when worms take over the world?
A: Global Worming.

Q: Everyone knows how the Green Giant dresses when he works in the field. But when he goes to a corporate board meeting, what does he usually wear?
A: A three peas suit.

Gardener's Dictionary

Coolant: An insect that's, like, you know, got it all together, dude.

Disbelief: How you tell someone what the green stuff on a tree is.

Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

Potash: All that's left after you smoke the joint.

Relief: What a tree does in the spring

Garden Trivia?

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Vegetable Jokes | 5 | 6 |
Home and Homeowner Humor | 7 | 8 | 9 |