Cooking Jokes and Humor

Kid's Kitchen Vocabulary Terms

Appetizing: Anything advertised on TV.

Boil: The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic 'Yuck' before a food is even tasted.

Casserole: Combination of favorite foods that go uneaten because they are mixed together.

Cookie (Last One): Item that must be eaten in front of a sibling.

Crust: Part of a sandwich saved for the starving children of China, India, Africa, or Europe.

Desserts: The reason for eating a meal.

Floor: Place for all food not found on lap or chair.

Fork: Eating utensil made obsolete by discovery of fingers.

Fried Foods: Gourmet Cooking.

Kitchen: The only room not used when eating crumbly snacks.

Macaroni: Material for a collage.

Napkin: Any warm cloth object, such as shirt or pants.

Refrigerator: A very expensive and efficient room air conditioner when not being used as an art gallery.

Soda Pop: Shake 'N Spray.

Thirsty: How your child feels after you've said your final "good night."

Q: What happens when you fall in love with a chef?
A: You get buttered up.

Q: What happens when you fall in love with a pastry cook?
A: He desserts you.

Q: Why don't blondes ever double a batch of cookies?
A: The oven won't reach 700 degrees.

Q: How can you tell if your mother-in-law is a good cook?
A: If the pop-tart stays in one piece.

One day during cooking class, our teacher, Mrs. Moore, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, "Don't forget to use wooden spoons."

As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated the physics behind the mystery of the wooden spoon and decided it must have something to do with heat conduction. I approached Mrs. Moore about my theory. "Why wooden spoons?" I asked.

"Because," she replied, "if I have to sit here listening to all your metal spoons banging against metal pots, I'll go nuts!"

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