Humorous Entertaining Tips, Advice, and Party Pointers

Entertaining Tips, Advice, and Party Pointers

MrsMegaByte's Tips for Entertaining

1. When one hosts a dinner party, it is essential that all the place mats match, or, at the very least, that they all come from the same fast-food restaurant.

2. Entertaining in your backyard? The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who's muscular and shirtless.

3. My favorite party game is "Pin the Cleanup on the Guests."

4. Nothing in the world is quite so entertaining as pouring old milk into new containers before having guests over.

5. A good host must always be a STICKLER for attractive food presentation! I always take the foil COMPLETELY off the TV dinner before serving.

6. Getting your home in tiptop shape for a party can be fun if you think of it as kicking dust bunny butt!

7. Take short cuts! I used to offer my guests instant coffee. They kept whining for hot water to go with it.

8. The best way to prepare a roast is to make an aluminum foil tent over your roasting pan. Similarly, the best way to prepare for relatives is to pitch a tent in the backyard and stay there until they leave.

9. When decorating for a party, be creative with regular household items. Some people might just see a moldy shower curtain with torn eyelets. What do I see? A new tablecloth.

10. The better you cook, the more likely your guests will return. Which is why I'm not usually too hot in the kitchen.

Was It a Good Party?

That is what's on everyone's mind today when you run into them. "Oh, you went to that party. Was it a good party?" What constitutes a good party? No one ever goes to a frat party and rates the munchies or grades the pee water coming out of the keg.

It's just the annoying way of saying, "Did you hook up?" So if someone asks this typical crap, just say: "Aside from the threesome, everything pretty much sucked."

More Friendly Tips

An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.