Food Facts - Jokes
Martha Stewart Parody


Food Jokes and Chocolate Humor

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study to determine why married women love Chinese food so much.

The study revealed that this is due to the fact that "Won Ton" spelled backwards is: "Not Now."

Food Facts

If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy.

Rich foods are like destiny. They, too, shape our ends.

Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache.

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd want to have dinner with.

People have candles on their birthday cake to make light of their age.

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

Side Effects of Genetically Altered Food

1. You spot the tell-tale signs of a primitive central nervous system in you Jell-O.

2. Your hot dog just fetched its own ketchup and relish.

3. Chocchini: looks like zucchini, tastes like a Ding Dong.

4. The black-eyed peas on your fork just winked at you.

5. Every time you pour a glass of orange juice, your garage door goes up.

Food and Recipe FAQs

Q: Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
A: Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.

Q: What can you make from baked beans and onions?
A: Tear gas.

Q: What's the difference between Chinese food and Italian food?
A: With Chinese food, you're hungry after two hours. With Italian food, you're still eating after two hours.

Q: What do you do with two pieces of bread in the desert?
A: Make a sandwich!

Q: What did the girl melon say to the boy melon when he proposed to her?
A: We're too young ... we cantaloupe!

Q: Why did the raisin go out with the prune?
A: Because he couldn't find a date.

Q: What kind of shoes do you make from banana skins?
A: Slippers.

Q: Why do bananas wear suntan lotion?
A: Because they peel.

Q: What is more useful after it is broken?
A: An egg.






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Martha Stewart


More Food Jokes and Chocolate Humor

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