Food Jokes and Chocolate Humor

The Rules of Chocolate

1. If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

3. The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

5. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

6. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

7. Money talks. Chocolate sings.

8. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

9. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

10. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

11. If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

Q: What is two inches wide, six inches long and drives a women wild?

A: A bar of chocolate.

Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?

A: Because no one wants to quit.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are...

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