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Entertaining Tips, Advice, and Party Pointers
MrsMegaByte's Great Practical Tips
Tape a chocolate bar to the outside of your microwave. If the chocolate
melts you will know that the microwaves are escaping and it is time
to have he oven serviced.
Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle
the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from
the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and
check that it has gone.
X File fans. Create the effect of being abducted be aliens by drinking
two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place the
following morning, having had your memory mysteriously 'erased'.
High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while,
thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Olympic athletes. Conceal the fact that you have taken performance enhancing
drugs by simply running a little slower and letting someone else win.
Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes.
Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to insulate your
loft.
Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your
chin in a bowl of iron fillings.
A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and effective substitute for costly
maps when visiting the Sahara desert.
Convince neighbors that you have invented a 'SHRINKING' device by ruffling
your hair, wearing a white laboratory coats and parking a JCB digger
outside your house for a few days. Then dim and flicker the lights in
your house during the night and replace the JCB unseen, with a Tonka
toy of the same description. Watch their faces in the morning!
Nissan Micra drivers. Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your
car before starting a long journey. You drive the things like dodgem
cars anyway, so it may as well look like one.
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep.
Q: How do you keep a dog quiet?
A: Feed him hushpuppies.
Q: Why don't you ever iron a four-leaf clover?
A: You might press your luck.
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