Dining, Meal Time, and Restaurant Jokes

A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. From across the room, their waitress noticed the man begin to slowly slide down in his chair, while the woman remained unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair, and went out of sight under the table and tablecloth. The woman continued to remain calm and unruffled.

The waitress was unable to contain her curiosity. She went over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly replied, "No he didn't ... My husband just walked in the door."

The waitress was waiting as patiently as she could while the smart-ass man was dawdling over the breakfast menu. He says, "I never return to a restaurant unless at least one of the sausages I'm served is a match in size for my own."

The waitress replied, "In that case, sir, perhaps you should take a look at the children's menu."

There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying somewhere over Africa. Suddenly the plane had a malfunction, and went down somewhere.

A few weeks later, PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the wreckage, but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The chief replies, "Yes." When asked where the crew was, the chief replied, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi."

The Rescue crew was shocked. One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi."

Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi."

After looking totally perplexed for a minute, a third asked, "Did you ... you know ... eat their 'things?'" The chief says, "No."

"No?" asked the rescuers. "No," replied the chief, "'THINGS' go better with Coke."

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?"

"It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly..."

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