Garden, Gardening and Vegetable Jokes

Heart Beet

Do you carrot at all for me?
My heart beets for you,
With your turnip nose
And your radish face.
You are a peach.
If we cantaloupe,
Lettuce marry.
Weed make a swell pear.

Q: Where did the vegetables go to have a few drinks?
A: The Salad Bar.

Why Pumpkins Are Better Than Men

1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.

2. No matter what your mood, pumpkins are always ready to greet you with a smile.

3. One usually makes a better pie.

4. They are always on the doorstep there waiting for you!

5. If you don't like the way he looks, you just carve up another face.

6. If he starts smelling up your place, you can just throw him out.

7. From the start, you know a pumpkin has an empty, mush filled head.

8. A pumpkin is turned on (lit-up) only when you want him to be.

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi.

Q: What is the difference between boogers and spinach?
A: You can't get your kids to eat spinach.

Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Vegetable Jokes | 5 | 6 |
Home and Homeowner Humor | 7 | 8 | 9 |