Home and Homeowner Jokes

Actual Label Instructions and Product Warnings
Part II

On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."

On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestions: Defrost."

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down."

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: Contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

"The federal government is considering a proposal that would update the warning label on beer and other alcoholic beverages. For instance, one of the new warnings says, 'Caution: Excessive drinking could cause karaoke.'"
- Conan O'Brien

Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Vegetable Jokes | 5 | 6 |
Home and Homeowner Humor | 7 | 8 | 9 |