Martha Stewie

"I simply can't begin to tell you all just how much I dearly appreciate the admiration of all of my fans, followers, and groupies - but most of all, I have truly been touched by my STEWIES! After all, without my devotees, I wouldn't be a multi-media mogul, multi-millionaire or an American icon.

More importantly, my glorious persona wouldn't grace day-time TV, radio, newspaper, or those most prestigious K-Mart ads.

So, for all of you Martha Stewart fanatics who just can't get enough of me throughout the day, I've decided to open a classic chain of evening entertainment venues appropriately dubbed 'Club Stewie,' named after me of course!"

- Martha Stewart