Jokes, Humor, and Trivia for the Martha Stewart Impaired

Miscellaneous Jokes, Humor and Trivia for the
"Martha Stewart Living Impaired"

I recently witnessed a robbery in a fabric factory and immediately called the police.

They caught the culprit and held me as a material witness.

You know, when you get back together with an old boyfriend, it's pathetic...

It's like having a garage sale and buying your own stuff back.

A mother complained to her doctor about her teen-aged daughter's strange eating habits. "Doctor, all day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to my daughter?"

Eventually," the doctor said calmly, "she will rise and shine."

Hunting Crow

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed.

The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: "Wash. Biol. Surv." until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:

"Dear Sirs:
While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you, it was horrible."

The bands are now clearly marked: "Fish and Wildlife Service."

Party!