Jokes, Humor, and Trivia for the Martha Stewart Impaired

Miscellaneous Jokes, Humor and Trivia for the
"Martha Stewart Living Impaired"

The Doughboy's Obit

It is my sad duty to report that veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin.

He was 71.Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player.

Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Skippy, and Martha Stewart. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Martha Stewart delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded."

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife, Play Dough.

They have two children and another bun in the oven. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
A: Donuts.

He didn't like my pudding
And he didn't like my cake.
My biscuits were too hard.
Not like his mother use to bake.
I didn't perk the coffee
And I didn't make the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
Like his mother use to do.
As I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
So, I turned around and boxed his ears,
Like his Mother used to do!