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How to Survive the Holidays - Holiday
Humor
Christmas Jokes
Women's Christmas Wishes
Dear Father Christmas:
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
He's not afraid to admit when he is wrong.
One who thinks before he speaks
When he promises to call, he doesn't wait six weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
Won't lose his cool when he's annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my mind.
Knows just what to say when I ask: "How fat is my behind?"
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin'
He brings ME a sandwich too, when he goes to the kitchen!
I wish that this man will love me to no end,
And would never compare me with my best girlfriend.
Thank You in advance and now I'll just wait,
For I know You will send him before it's too late.
Men's Christmas Wishes
As I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a woman, who's very cheap.
One who's sexy, blonde and long.
Who notices that she's mostly wrong.
One who sucks And doesn't speak.
And promises to do so, Once a week.
I pray that she is very randy,
'cause one like that would come in handy.
Opens her leg and lies on the floor,
And once I'm done, she begs for more.
Oh! Send me a woman who will not play with my mind.
Who knows what she wants and that's lots from behind!
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin'
and brings ME a beer, when she comes from the kitchen!
I pray that she'll last right up to the end,
And would never complain when I do her best friend.
Thanks in advance and you know I can't wait,
So I'll screw all the rest 'cause it's never too late.
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