How to Survive the Holidays - Holiday Humor

New Year's Eve Jokes

My brother drinks a toast on holidays: "Here's to our holidays, all 365 of them!"

The New Year's Eve party had turned into a regular marathon with numerous guests coming and going.

At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement.

He sat there happily for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. "You know," he confided to his host, "I wasn't even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my driveway."

The guest continued, "My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved."

"I think women get more excited about New YearÕs Eve than men. If you think about it, you can see why. What do you do on New YearÕs Eve? You get drunk and make a lot of promises you donÕt keep. You see, men do that all the time, itÕs called dating."

- Jay Leno

Q: What is the definition of a hangover?

A: The wrath of grapes.

Once Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Green met during a party. After an hour talking and drinking Mrs. Smith told her friend, "They call my husband 'The Exorcist.'" With a great surprise Mrs. Green asked her, "Why?"

She replied, "At every party we attend, he soon gets rid of all the spirits."

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