How to Survive the Holidays - Holiday Humor

Christmas Jokes

It was Christmas time, and the mailman rings at the door for an urgent letter. The lady of the house opens the door, asking for his request. Taking the letter, she said, "Come in, postman. I'll give you coffee and a good breakfast."

So he came in, took the meal. When he was finished eating, she said, "Come on, let's go to bed now." The postman was excited, went with her to bed, and they had fun together.

Afterward, the woman gave him a dollar bill. Confused, he said, "What the hell!? You made breakfast for me, went to bed with me, and know giving me a dollar? I suppose the rest was enough!"

The woman answered, "Well, it's Christmas, and I asked my husband, what shall we give the mailman. My husband said, 'Screw him, give m a dollar!' ... But the breakfast was my idea."

20 Ways To Make HIS X-Mas an XXX-Mas!

1. Trim his tree.

2. Lick his luscious candy cane.

3. Be his "ho-ho-ho" for the holidays.

4. Polish his Christmas balls.

5. Ride him like a reindeer.

6. Taste his sweet egg-nog.

7. Deck the halls with moans of pleasure.

8. Fa, la, la, latio - la, la, la, la.

9. Spark his minorah with a hot strip tease.

10. Request a stiff stocking stuff-her!

11. Make his Kris Kringle tingle.

12. Gift wrap yourself in sexy lingerie.

13. Unwrap his package.

14. Hang mistletoe from any place you want kissed.

15. Rock his jingle bells in the frosty air.

16. Make your Rudolph's hose as red as his nose.

17. Heat him up with a snow job.

18. Give the Christmas carolers a show of your own.

19. Dress up as Santa's nasty little helper.

20. Make sure you're naughty, so it's nice.

Halloween | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Thanksgiving | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
Christmas | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Hanukkah | 18 |
Other Occasions and Holidays | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |